burger betrayal

His wife slinked in the front door and made a speedy beeline for the bathroom, saying in a cheery tone ‘hey, I’m home’ as she passed the doorway of the study. He sat looking at the computer screen and listened to her brush her teeth. He looked down at his wrist and the silver Seiko that pronounced the time to be five forty six. The watch was an anniversary present.

He was more angry than he was upset about the intrigues of his wife. It was clear she was hiding something or should he say, someone from him. About once a week she would arrive home forty minutes later than usual and go straight into the bathroom to brush her teeth and re-apply some perfume.
She appeared from the bathroom and came up to the study where he sat typing again.
‘how’s it coming?’ she asked looking over his shoulder and at the pages of black and white text that was his cookbook to be.

Instead of ignoring it, he was angry enough to be bold ‘did you just brush your teeth?’ he asked it with as much wonderment as he could muster.
A look of embarrassment and apprehension swept like a wave across her face. ‘oh.’ ‘yeah’ she stuttered then seizing on something ‘yeah I had some falafel for lunch and didn’t want to smell all garlicky’
Nice save he thought.

He looked over the dinner table at her and wondered where it all went wrong. She only picked her plate which was wild rice and lemon grass with a side raw salad and dates, he was writing a cook book called ‘the macrobiotic gluten-free vegans guide to cookery with flare’. She had fully encouraged him to do it, it was something they could experiment in together. Or so she’d said, now she stared through her plate obviously thinking of somewhere she’d rather be, or should he say someone she’d rather be with.

Next Wednesday he called her where she worked at a vegan shoe store at two thirty. ‘hey honey I’ve come up with a great recipe! And all you get to know is mushroom, pine nuts, chick peas and moogly for desert’
‘great honey’ she replied in a very cheerful tone. ‘I’ll be about an hour late though cause we are doing stock take.’
‘ok’ he replied, ‘c-ya’

As soon as he hung up the phone he knew today was the day he would sting her. He’d been ringing up everyday with some little thing he ‘needed’ to tell her, just giving her the chance to tell him she would be late. Stock take? Ha bullshit he’d talked to her boss on Monday and knew for a fact that he wouldn’t be doing stock take til Friday.

At five he was ready in position across the road from her work waiting. She would be easy to follow because neither of them believed in cars unless they could get a diesel van to run on used vegetable oil but he didn’t know the first thing about engines.

At one past five the she stepped out of the store and started walk briskly down the street. The bitch he thought, she had a grin a mile wide. She walk right past the tram stop that would take her home and stepped around a corner. He slowly crossed the road after her knowing they must not have far to travel since the whole affair was over in time for her to get home at five forty. As he went to turn the corner, he ran smack right into a massive chest whose owner had a studded leather jacket and an off green mohawk.

He was tore between a moral duty and getting to the bottom of things. He looked up at the punk towering above him and glaring down. They looked at each other for a good five seconds. Then.

‘ I suppose you think it’s ok to commit murder for fashion hey!’ he piped up
‘oh..shut up hippy I don’t give you guys crap about your Birkenstocks’ the guy said in a slow and expressive Scottish voice
‘I’m not a hippy thanks very much, I just don’t think wearing the hide of a dead animal is very anti-establishment and…’ he noticed that he was now talking to himself as the verbal opponent had walked off.

He stepped up the street wondering if he would catch up with Sara and what kind of a guy or girl she would be going behind his back with. What would his reaction be? He walked past a McDonalds as he scoured the street for her, she wasn’t anywhere he could see. Disappointed he turned to start walking home when a terrible drawn out scream of ‘No!’ ripped from his lungs and echoed down the street.

There in the gherkin stained glass window was his sweetheart with her teeth clamped down on a quater pounder with cheese and a rapt look of ecstasy on her.